Thursday, December 30, 2010

It's Almost a New Year! :)

Well I hope everyone is having a great Christmas season, and break from school! :)

It's almost a new year! I'm sure everyone is pulling out their notebooks to start making new resolutions last minute. What I never understand is why does it have to be a new year in order for it to be a new start? What's wrong with a new start or a change in July, or April, or November for that matter? Anyway, I encourage you to find places in your relationship with God that need to be worked on, and make that a point of focus! For example if you don't find yourself getting into his word set a goal to read just a couple minutes or a chapter a night. Make a goal to set aside some time to just talk to Him, or if something is getting in the way of your relationship with Him try to slowly tear down the brick wall. Ask God what He wants. Make a change. :)

Grow. Love. Die daily to self.

More later. :)

Be blessed!

Sunday, November 28, 2010

An Answered Prayer. A Rededication.

Today November 28, 2010 I rededicate my life to God.

It's a good day, and I'm ready for the new beginning God has offered me.

About two years ago, with the help of an incredible friend, I had realized that living my life for God was more then going to church on Sunday. I then too started understanding that there is no in between, and that I was either going to be on fire for God and trust Him, or lay Him on the back burner and figure things out for myself. I had realized it meant dedicating my life to God. I wasn't willing any longer to settle for what I had been settling for. I had felt that everything I had gone through was like a roller coaster. (Yes, I know cliche.) That the intensity would just build from there. This last summer I'd say that my relationship with God had hit the peak. It was at the top of the roller coaster ride. There was no school drama, no friend drama. I was able to attend a National Youth Gathering in New Orleans, and also a three day camp of Fellowship of Christian Athletes Leadership Camp. I had plenty of time to read my Bible, go to church, pray before bed, talk to Him throughout the day. It was all good. I was satisfied, and the most content I've ever been. The last few months the feeling of being content started to fade as my time with Him started slipping away. School started going. I started becoming stressed. I filled up my schedule with school, friends, sports, and I left the little bit of time I had left over to spend it specifically with God.

Lately I've been starting to feel alone, and worthless. The more I accepted the feelings the more lies I felt Satan would throw at me, and the more I was willing to accept each one, so this morning on the way to walking into church I prayed silently to myself asking God if He could show me a miracle, and let me acknowledge it as Him. The service continued with some worship songs, and then lead into a solid message. Let me just tell you right now that Pastor Steve's messages are GREAT. The message today was about dying daily to yourself, and being thankful. It discussed that no matter what situation you are in you have a million blessings to be thankful for, and it talked about how many blessings we overlook and how many we believe are deserved. The message also displayed the idea of giving up something for yourself, in the end, to bless someone else. In also in a way reached out the point that the world doesn't revolve around you, it doesn't revolve around me, and it won't ever. Following the message Pastor Steve had us stand up. We began praying prayers to ourselves, and he prayed his prayer for us out loud. He asked that anyone who was hurting, or who felt that they haven't been where they needed to be with God lately that they would raise their hand while our heads were bowed. He'd take a while acknowledge who, and then continued asking the question in hope that those who needed the courage to raise their hands would. I prayed to God that I had been feeling very far away from Him, and if I was one of the people who needed to raise there hand then Pastor Steve would ask once more. Of course Pastor Steve did. I still didn't have the courage to raise my hand, so I promised once again to God that this time if he asked again I would raise my hand. Again still no courage, the final time I promised God I would do it, and again Pastor Steve asked the question. I then raised my hand and quickly put it down after he made the acknowledgement of those whose hands were up. I had thought that raising my hand and surrendering to myself was all I needed to do- to admit to myself that I wasn't in the place I needed to be with God. Pastor Steve then continued by calling us up to the front of the church so they could lay hands upon us and pray for us. I continued standing in my place with no anticipation of moving to the front of the church. I opened my eyes looked up and notice him looking at me. He said "Young lady in the back (me) would you please come to the front so we can pray for you?". I began to walk forward to the front of the church, and stood next to some others who were feeling the similar things I had. Pastor Steve called up some of the members of the congregation willing to pray over us individually. Pastors Steve's wife, Trish, walked up to me, and placed her hands upon my shoulders. She asked me "Have you accept Christ in your life yet?" And I replied with a "Yes." She began praying over me, and I could feel Christ enter my heart overwhelmingly. She then asked me if I had accepted the Holy Spirit in my heart, to which I replied "Yes." again. As she continued praying I could hear God reminding me that I didn't have to feel alone, and that the world will never be a place to satisfy the things that I longed for. That the very place that I needed to be was hand in hand with Him, and He called me back to Him with open arms.

That was His miracle. The miracle of Him excepting someone worthless, and undeserving of His love. The miracle that He would except me back into His loving arms. The miracle of an answered prayer, and because of this my life doesn't have to go back to being to same it can move forward changed.

Monday, November 15, 2010

I Refuse. (Followup Post.)

Here is kind of a followup to my last post. It's still very heavy on my heart. I ran across a song tonight that felt perfect for it! Coincidence? I think not. God's always at work. :)

I Refuse
Josh Wilson

Sometimes I, I just want to close my eyes
And act like everyone's alright
When I know they're not
This world needs God, but it's easier to stand and watch
I could pray a prayer and just move on
Like nothing's wrong
But I Refuse

I don't want to live like I don't care
I don't want to say another empty prayer
Oh, I refuse to sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself
I could choose not to move
But I refuse

I can hear the least of these, crying out so desperately
And I know we are the hands and feet of You, oh God
So if You say move, it's time for me to follow through
And do what I was made to do
And show them who You are

I don't want to live like I don't care
I don't want to say another empty prayer
Oh, I refuse to sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself
I could choose not to move
But I refuse

I refuse to stand and watch the weary and lost cry out for help
I refuse to turn my back and try and act like all is well
I refuse to stay unchanged, to wait another day to die to myself
I refuse to make one more excuse

I don't want to live like I don't care
I don't want to say another empty prayer
Oh, I refuse to sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself
I could choose not to move
But I refuse

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Fighting for the Broken..

This world is inhabited with sin, but that doesn't mean we should just give up. Sin is here. It'll always be. It is our nature, but the doesn't mean it has to be our way, or our excuse for the way we are. God also gave us a choice. A choice on how we approach and how we handle our sinful nature. Lately I've had a heavy heart about some friends and the people of this world who I feel are lost and broken, who feel lonely and worthless, or just someone who needs someone to love them. It's our time now. This generation, if we all just took one step forward it'd be one giant leap for this world, and I believe we can do it.

Some of the smallest acts can change a person's day. A smile, and a "hello" is all it could take. Don't just sit back and wish. Take action. The change starts with you.

I've been focusing on praying for them, and for the renewing of their heart and soul. I truly believe in the power of prayer. It's strong. It's a step towards action.

Check this out:
"Keep Changing the World" with visual.
"Keep Changing the World"

"Keep Changing the World"

Something here is wrong
There are children without homes
But we just move along to take care of our own
There's so much suffering just outside our door
A cry so deafening
We just can't ignore

To all the people who are fighting for the broken
All the people who keep holding on to love
All the people who are reaching for the lonely
Keep changing the world

Take a look around
Before the sun goes out
What's lost can still be found
It's not too late now
It only takes one spark to make the fire burn
So reach inside your heart and let this be the start

To all the people who are fighting for the broken
All the people who keep holding on to love
All the people who are reaching for the lonely
Keep changing the world

I know you see the suffering
How they going to recover when people just look over like they don't even notice them
Everyone whose focusing on ending all this hopelessness
You can change the world by changing who the world is hoping in

I see the sun coming up
It's a brighter day
Let's show the world that love is a better way
So lend a hand join the fight
'Cause time is ticking away
Keep changing the world

I see you changing the world
Step up!

To all the people who are fighting for the broken
All the people who keep holding on to love
All the people who are reaching for the lonely
Keep changing the world

The change starts with you? Are you ready?

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Pounding. Pressure. Sweet Escape?

Pound. Pound. Pound. Do you hear that? Can you feel that?
I do. Everyday. This earth- it's like a battle field. No place is safe except for the welcoming place of the arms of God.

Judgements, and lies. The world feeds off them. They're everywhere.  I hear them, I assume them, I believe them, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. Even the simplest lies are destructive, and I suppose in every way that's the point. It's Satan's purpose to shrink us in anyway that's possible, and to make us numb to our very own Heavenly Father.

I encourage you to take a look at what you surround yourself with.
Music. Tv. Books. Advertising. Media.

Just standing in line at the stores I notice so many magazines with covers that advertise how to loose weight, or what movie star is in love with another. To me it's so frustrating to see, but to authors it's their selling point. They're filled with lies. Yet they capture us! I learned recently in a Bible study that models have almost unrealistic diets. It also said that the average model weighs 23% less then the average women on the streets, and that this has led to two-thirds of underweight twelve-year-old girls to consider themselves "fat". To me that is so unreal. There's no purpose to it. It's a lie that Satan feeds to us- that we can never fit to the standard of this world.

We are perfect and like in God's image.

To me that sounds great, but yet that doesn't even seem to have near of an impact as the earth does on pressuring us to dress a certain way, be a certain weight, to drink, to just go with the flow.

My question to you is-why?  Why buy the lies? Why let go of the Truth?

We hear the lies, but how can we recognize the lies if we can't first know and recognize the Truth?

Keep your ears open to our Heavenly Father. Talk. Listen.

Read your Bible. The book of TRUTH. It's filled with everything. The more engulfed I am with mine I realized the more I can recognize God working in my life, and the more I can differentiate the lies from the Truth.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

GOAL! (:

After the first week of school I kind of have a better feel of what I should be aiming my goals for. I'm excited to lay them out, but am kind of nervous as to how big they'll actually be to accomplish. It's encouraging to know that nothing is to big for God though. (: Over the course of the next school year I'll be working on these spiritual goals set specifically for me. Voicing them out may give you some ideas on what you yourself can to work on too, and they can help by others knowing my weaknesses and keeping me accountable for them.


Definition- the result or achievement toward which effort is directed; aim; end.

Goal 1:
Complain less. Be joyful more.

Goal 2:
Live faith actively.

Goal 3:
Love on others. Take an extra step outward.

Goal 4:
Be bold.
Always be prepared to share the gospel of God to others...

Goal 5:
Communicate with God.

Goal 6:
Stick with my morals.
Don't be conformed to the ways of the world...

It's the beginning and more can always be added, but here is a start. Take some time to think of your goals. Know that the journey to become closer to God never ends. (:

Live life loud. Be blessed. (:

Monday, September 6, 2010


I apologize for such a short post, but school is tomorrow, it's 9:30, and my backpack isn't even packed.

I feel that it's some joke that school starts tomorrow. I'm kind of starting to wonder where the cameras are to capture my reaction to it. They must have hid them in a pretty good hiding spot because I can't seem to find them.

I'm for sure not ready to say goodbye to summer. I figured as it is the last day I better blog. I was hoping to get some goals down to help improve my walk with God, but I'm thinking that I'm going to wait until the first week of school is done, so I can be refreshed in areas that most need to be improved although I've already got a few in mind. I encourage you to make some goals for yourself too! Find weak points, and strengthen them. Dig deeper into your relationship with Him. Fill in the gaps between church life, and your social life. You can never be to close to God.

Pray often. Be joyful. Show love. Be bold. Live like each day is your last.

Go serve our King!

Friday, August 27, 2010

Flooded. Empty. Focused? (SMA)

Lately my mind has felt flooded, overwhelmed, and consumed. I'm guessing the lack of sleep I have been getting isn't helping that in any way either. For the last two weeks a minimum of eight hours a day has been spent on watching football practice, taping feet, making ice bathes, finding supplies, helping injured players, and keeping a pretty constant eye of knowing what's going on, but after seeing how much work the football players put into a two-a-day practice I feel I have no right to complain. A regular day consists of two four hour shifts that follow with eating, attempting to get something done, then head off to bed, only to wake up and do it again. Honestly this does make me feel I have purpose, but it makes me feel even better to know that God probably has a greater purpose for me.

With so much time spent at practices and in the training room the time I spend at home feels like nothing. Recently the question that has popped into my mind is 'Am I still focused on God?' Mainly this question popped up because one of the football players who pretty much always tries to give me a hard time walked up to me and said "Want to hear a joke?" I said "Nope." He then continued to say "Girl sports, and your FCA leadership skills." To that I replied "Yeah...thanks!" In a way it kind of felt like a slap on the face. I mostly know this kid is just teasing although a lot of the time it's hard to tell. It kind of made me take a step back and think why am I even here?

We've had quite a few encounters in the last two weeks where people have walked up to us and said with a cheesy smirk on their face "Are you standing here to watch the football guys?" We normally just try to laugh it off, and make some joke about how if we weren't trainers we wouldn't be standing there amidst 80 some guys, and 6 male coaches. Certainly signing up for it if I would of known that we weren't spending all our time in the training room, and that we'd be in the middle of the field watching practice go on, and that we planned to be  partnered so tightly with football I probably wouldn't have volunteered. Some of me wonders though if this is the complete working of God in my life. My purpose from this is to be more then a sports medical assistant trainer. My purpose is probably far wider then I will understand, but I do know my purpose is to be a light for God to every single one of those guys on that field. I may not have to run around quoting Bible verses left, and right, but my actions should be able to speak loud enough to make people wonder what it's all about.

Maybe sometimes harsh words have to be spoken to awaken you from a tiring sleep. Maybe what I thought had purpose means nothing now, and the what seemed over is only starting to begin.

Those previous thoughts should of almost popped up in my mind automatic though I feel. I can't stress enough that being a Christian isn't just a Sunday, Wednesday, youth group sorta deal. It's far more, and far better. It should take place at school, work, on the rainbow rider, on the field, at the zoo, anywhere, everywhere.

Hello football season. Hello sports medical assistant training. Hello feet. Hello road trips with smelly boys, and extreme outnumbered boy-girl ratio bus rides. None of it matters now. What matters is the foot I as a Christian decide to put forth, and the leap I am willing to take to bring my faith to the next step. Bring it. With the help of God. I can take it. We can take it.

Be set apart.

Thursday, August 19, 2010


Lately I've been thinking about relationships. If you know me well enough by now you'd probably already know I'm always seeming to try to learn something new about them! Although I'm sure you'd be quick to agree with me that they are very important. :)  I've noticed in my own life, and in others that sometimes relationships can be the make or break of us. I'd have to say especially the guy-girl ones can get a person off track, or get your mind spinning in every direction. If a relationship is bad, our attitude, or emotional state can go spiraling downward in an instant. Maybe that relates more-so to girls, I can't say I've ever experienced it from a guy's point of view. Lately and over time I've been realizing that our emotional state seems to spiral downward faster the more our life is centered around that relationship. I've noticed the more attached to a person I am the more likely that person can affect me with both negative, and positive influence. I've been given this illustration before, but it was put a little differently then I am about to put it. Hopefully it hasn't been to overused. Picture a bike tire. There is the hub, which is the center, and then the spokes. On the hub put the word relationships there, and in between each spoke put some other priority in there. Well if something in your relationships go wrong which is the foundation and the center of the tire holding it together, then each single priority in between the spokes are messed with. Therefore the tire becomes unbalanced. This doesn't only relate to relationships, you can try this with a lot of priorities. The point is if you make everything revolve around the one rocky foundation it can't stand solid. I found a little card laying on the floor of my room about a month ago it read "Put God in the center-and everything will come together." Meaning if you make God the hub, and all your priorities lie around you have a solid center foundation.

Consider it. :)

Sunday, August 15, 2010


I've been going through kind of a dull time lately. If you looked over the things that I've done this last week and a half you'd probably ask why. I've been pretty lucky to be surrounded by friends practically all the time whether at each others houses, biking, watching movies, camping, cooking, youth group, swimming, eating, shopping in St. Cloud. I've been running, visiting family, running around with my parents on their schedules and have been trying to help around the house in the free time. I've been writing lists of things to do to keep everything straight to make sure everything planned for the day gets done. I do enjoy having things to do, and it's good to accomplish things, but sometimes I feels like it's a game to see how many things I can cram into a day, and truthfully no matter how many things I do it still can leave me feeling unaccomplished and empty.  Let me be the first, last, second, or tenth to tell you that can't look to the world for satisfaction, and that you can't depend on it to be something that makes you complete. No matter how many clothes you buy, how many friends you have, how much money is in your savings, who has the coolest car-you will never know what true satisfaction is until you have a real relationship with God. Along my walk with God I've realized this so many times now. The world has a billion and one distractions. The devil is out to steer us in every which direction that causes blindness to notice them as true distractions. The best way to avoid these distractions and to be truly satisfied is to know the Truth, and to know God personally. Get into the Bible. Meditate on it daily. Spend some one on one time with God. He'll be sure to show you some glorious things no doubt. Talk to Him. Pray. In every relationship in order for it to work you have to have a two way street with equal communication. Don't just talk, but be ready to listen to what He has to say. Be real with Him. He's going to be real with you.

Sometimes people refer to the Bible as boring, but it certainly isn't! It's filled with spiced up stuff that is just as relevant today as it was when it was written! I've found it easiest for me to pick a spot in the Bible that I feel I need some insight on. I'm working through Proverbs now, and some of Psalms. Open it up, and dive in.

As for praying, I've heard a lot of my friends say they feel like there talking to the ceiling or that whatever they say is bouncing off the wall. Personally I've been writing my prayers out each night kind of in letter format to God in a journal, and at the end I read them out loud to Him. For now it's been helping my stay accountable to praying more often. Everyone is different, so different things will work for different people!

Speak. Listen. Meditate. Know Truth. Be satisfied.
Have a good one! (:

Wednesday, August 4, 2010


Love. Whoa. What a word! I mean not only is it a pretty cool sounding word, but it has the most spectacular and powerful meaning no doubt, and I can't even begin to think about how thrown around it is. I myself am completely guilty of it too! Three minutes ago I was talking about how much I LOVE cereal, but honestly I hope my love isn't that shallow, and I certainly hope the meaning of the word never becomes that shallow, because if it did boy are we doomed, because before you know it love will mean like, and if love means like then really God only likes us, and do you know what that means? It means that He may not even think we're worth it, which means we're all hopeless lost children of a God who only likes us...(which yes I know is all contradicting, because if God didn't love us we truly would be hopeless...)

Last night before I hopped in bed I did some one-on-one God time, and looked into the meaning of the word love. Of course the study that I did led me to the well known 1 Corinthians 13 chapter, and I decided this time I was going to take it to the next step. I laid out what love looks like, and what love doesn't look like:

What love IS                                                                 
-Rejoices in Truth                                                             
-Bears all things                                                                
-Believes all things                                                            
-Hopes all things                                                              
-Endures all things                                                            
What love IS NOT/DOESN'T                                                                                    
- Boast
- Conceited
- Act improperly
- Selfish
- Provoke
-Keeps records of wrong doing
- Find joy in unrighteousness
- End

It's strange how we can say the word love to so many people loosely like a habit-something that soon becomes unthought about. If you truly think about it this LOVE doesn't explain some mushy tingly feeling inside your stomach. It means something so much deeper! Something so incredible! Each time you tell someone you love them it's like a promise that you will treat them with respect, that you will forgive them always, and let go of the past! For real there is no way you can truly love unless you are acting Christ-like towards them!

Scenario 1:
Boy-Girl (Friend-Friend)
"Dude guess what!?"-girl
"Jesus loves you!!"-girl
"And you as well!"-boy
"...and so do I! (in a brother in Christ sorta way)"-girl
"Cool...:) I gotta head to bed.."-boy

Scenario 1 explanation: As much as this conversation looks like rejection to you I actually really like this conversation. Let me explain. You see "For God so LOVED the world that He gave His one and only son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16, because of LOVE God did this. He didn't do it because we deserved it. If you look at this conversation in a way it looks like the love is coming from a one way sorta street which it may be, but isn't that's what God's love is! It's like a flood of water engulfing and rushing down the street, that wipes out everything in it's path. It's not something easy taken! God knew not everyone would love Him. The gift of what His son went through is unrepayable. For us when we love we shouldn't expect love back. We shouldn't love to be loved. We should love because that's what God did, and that's what we are commanded to do.

Scenario 2:
Friend-Friend (Girls)
"Jesus loves you and so do I!"-Friend 1
"Aww :) jesus loves you too and so do i too! :) hehehe" -Friend 2

Scenario 2 explanation: This is pretty laid out! We are called to love, to be loved. Wither we offered it first, last, or the relationship is one way. We are called to never ever stop pouring love out on each other as Christ does for us! This specific friend that this was said too was a great example for me to share. No doubt do I wish to respect this friend to treat her the way she should be treated! In James it tells us to not only be hearers of the Word but to be doers. This friend is outstanding. When she replies with the love that God has commanded her to have she doesn't just say it to apply satisfaction. She lives out the love the she says to have. She's kind, caring, and is very quick to put the other person first. Love is not only a word it's an action.

As I read the chapter this verse stuck out on the page at me it says:
"If I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith so that I can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing." - 1 Corinthians 13:2

Does that not just add an additional 20 pound weight onto the meaning of the word already?

Don't take it lightly. It shouldn't be, but be ready to hand it out freely, and be prepared to back it up with actions for that is what our Father in heaven did.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Laying some of it out... (FCA leadership camp 2010- Unleash the Power)

I'm home, and I AM camp-sick. I miss it already. The people, the worship, the laughter, the adventure, the push and desire to know God better, and the encouragement to always work hard at what you're doing. I've learned a lot in this past weekend, and honestly I don't even know where to begin.

I'm so thankful for the new things God has shown me through this opportunity! Such as:

  • Truthfully no one is perfect, and you don't have to be to be a leader. (Thank you Jesus)
  • I'm not the only one struggling to understand things.
  • God is FULL, and filling.
  • I NEED God because I am lost. (Which I knew before, but now have appropriate words for it.)
  • It's more effective to explain why you yourself need God, then it is to explain to someone why they need God.
  • I shared my testimony openly with a friend from my huddle and realized I actually know it better then I thought.
  • I'm only on the beginning of my walk, and God's got my hand to lead me on.
That's just the beginning...

First off this weekend I met some incredibly cool, and legit people as some would say. :) No doubt it my mind is that true, but through this weekend and going into camp my focus was to focus wholly on God. I wanted above all else to put Him above the relationships that I made at camp, and focus on Him. Of course with growing closer to God I did slowly create some strong bonds with some new people! God certainly never stops pouring out His blessings.

To be completely honest with you and with this camp being co-ed I was worried there would be some distractions. Luckily what I soon learned after I arrived was that although it was co-ed the huddle groups were not, which I can fully assure you made it a billion times easier to open up, and stay focused! I noticed A LOT of girls, and I'd have to say a fair share amount of the guys focusing more so on a relationship with each other and finding excitement in them then finding, or even looking deeper into there relationship with God.  So with prayer, and some help from God I didn't have to worry about guys, and I didn't have to go out of my way to care that they were there. Which in no way do I mean that I don't care about them, because I am overly happy that those guys wanted to step up in their faith, it was just that they weren't going to get my focus. Praise to You God that You stood by my side, and kept my mind on the reason I was there for. You, and hopefully for fulfilling Your plan for me. 

In a way I'm kind of bummed out that the real feeling on God isn't swirling around in my heart, but it's not about feeling it. It's about the faith that after you asked Him to reside there, that He's there ever second, minute, hour, day, and that you can call on Him at anytime is what matters.

I certainly could go on hours about camp, blessings from God, the people I met, the INCREDIBLE food, the completely spectacular competitions, exercising games, and the velocity sport teams, but I think I'll leave it from here, and see what else gets worked in in the upcoming days, and what continues to lay heavy on my heart.

Dear God!
I thank you for sending me on this experience to learn more about you! I thank You for everything that You are, for Your love, and for Your forgiveness! I would like to pray for each camper that went, and for those interested and unable to make it I pray that you would put a burning passion in them to help continue getting to know You better! I pray that if the passion leaves they still have enough faith and fuel to chase after You, and light the world for You. I pray that leaving this place everything we learned and experienced will take complete affect in ways that witness to others, and get them to ask why we are set apart for the world! Please fill us up with Your love, patience, and Your understanding. Guide each of us in the plan that You had made specifically for us. Be with us always. Protect us. Hear us call upon You.
In Jesus name.

"I want to sit at Your feet, drink from the cup in Your hand, lay back against You and breath, feel Your heartbeat, this love is so deep, it's more then I can stand, I melt in Your peace, it's overwhelming."

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Unmistakable, Undeniable, Unconditional.

I suppose I should start out with by apologizing for not getting any of my posts up from New Orleans. Although I think a lot of them were convictions and I didn't get a chance to pull out a notebook and start writing they are still imprinted in my heart. Probably within the next week I'll be getting pictures online, and some posts up about it. I hope!

Anyway I feel kind of frustrated at this point, so God I pray that you lift everything off my heart and fill me only with You God, because You are all that I need. Take my burdens, and all my cares away. Help me to praise You in every moment, and thank You, and bring glory and honor to you in all the ways that I can.

Today was pretty spectacular. I made some new friends, and got to spend some time with my sister and her family. For about the last month in a half I've been attending church with them. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my church, my pastors, and the people there, and I in no way intend to make them feel that my church is not where I belong! I love worshiping my almighty God, and I believe He deserves to be worshiped every second I'm alive no doubt. I'm learning the way I best worship God is through music. I just thirst to do it. I love being engulfed in a song, and know that God enjoys it even more then I do when my heart is lost in the words being spoken directly to Him! This church allows strong messages, fellowship with family, praise to my Almighty God, open doors to taking me in, and a beautiful band I could sing my heart out too. So in many cases I'd say it's a win-win-win-win-win.

Today was a pretty great service, and following it was an equally great picnic. I got a chance to meet some new people which is always good, but I specifically wanted to share ONE person I met today that I know God has a huge heart for. You see this guy is unlike any guy I have ever met, and to some people being unique seems to be a turn off. This kid is one of a kind and incredible. Well I shouldn't say kid. He's no more of a kid then I am considering we are the same age. His mind is extraordinary. First off the way he worships with all of himself is one thing, and the way he thinks is in every way outside of the box is another, and I really admire him for that! His creativity is a true talent from God, and it's quite obvious he isn't wasting it. He brought our conversation from super powers, to hobbies, to views on dating, to wedding ideas, to you name it. You're probably thinking to yourself "WOW, talk about unusual for meeting someone for the first time." Honestly I can say not one minute of it was either. "Why?" you might ask. Because this guy was being WHOLEheatedly himself. It didn't matter what he said. He wasn't trying to impress me in anyway. He didn't feel like he had to fit up to some unreachable standard. He just said what his mind and his heart led him to say, and in so many ways I believe that he isn't letting the world conform him to believe he has to be some "super person".

I know that a couple of years ago before I understood the importance of God I would of never understood why he worships the way he worships, and I might of thought that the way he thinks is to far outside the box, but I know that God is wholeheartedly pleased with it. It wasn't some mixed up mistake that he has such a broad view of things, and such a great imagination! Honestly if there wasn't something such as an imagination where would we be today? No one would of been brave enough to make music, invent light bulbs, draw pictures, ect. God is in no way ashamed of anyone he made. In fact God made everybody in a way that brings glory to Him. He planned the way He wanted each of us to be before we were even woven in the womb of our mothers. I believe that God smiles down in this kid everyday, and doesn't even think twice about the love he has for him, or why he was made the way he was, because in the eyes of God he is a man who through His son was made whole, and through His son was made His, and I think each day when the sun rises and sets the love He has for him only increases...

I know if you read this you'll know who you are, and I thank you times a million for being yourself, and God's shining light, and teaching me something unmistakable, undeniable, and unconditional. :) I hope everything posted here wasn't taken in a way that was hurtful because I couldn't say a bad thing about you! Stay cool!

Be proud enough of who God created you to be to express yourself. Be humble enough  to be slow to speak and quick to listen! Pray often. Listen to your heart. Be a friend always. Seek God, and know you can never love to much.

Monday, July 12, 2010


I'm leaving tomorrow for New Orleans! I'm still sort of numb to all of the feelings around me. I know it'll hit me harder tomorrow probably when I actually step foot on the bus.

I am excited for spending intimate time with God because I can never get enough of it, and also growing in my faith with friends on the trip! Lately I've been realizing how incredibly important it is to get people on fire for Him, and plant a seed in there lives for God to nurture. In my eyes the world is going downhill fast, and boy is it starting to scare me. I can't wait to get fueled up and take off.

On another note, traveling is one of my weaknesses. Alexandria is my comfort zone. I love the community here. I love that everything I need is right here in this small place. God. Family. Friends. I always told my parents that when I grow up this is where I will live. Over time I've decided that if God leads me elsewhere then that's where I'll go. I truly believe that God is leading me to be here for this experience, and that it's happening only because of Him. This place of travel won't be home, but it'll be comfortable because I've got God holding me up and plenty of His community with me.

I will be keeping a journal each night, and post up thoughts once I return!

Be blessed my friends.

P.s. Dear my very special PA friends the Schmoyers! I'll be in the same time zone as you guys for a while on the way there. Yes! :) I love you guys! Stay cool!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Into the arms of God...

Today my Grandma could've slipped into the arms of God.

2 sheriffs
2 ambulance
1 response team
1 house full of family, police, and response team members
1 unresponsive Grandma

Morning thoughts...
It's scary to see someone you love in such a lifeless state, and as soon as they could get her to respond she looked at me and smiled. Since then each time she has smiled at me I have been scared that it's going to be the last, but I gotta take each moment at a time. On another note the response team was great. I needed someone to return a smile here and there to reassure me it was all ok. Nobody else was about ready to offer me that. They were friendly, talkative, and even cracked some lame jokes. Talk about my kind of people in a situation like this.

Afternoon thoughts...
I hate this room. I hate many things about it. I especailly hate the thought that on the other side of the room blocked off by a curtain was the room that my cousin Kortni Botzet was pronounced dead in. In a way it feels like defeat, but I can see God sitting at the end of the bed. I wonder what He's thinking. I wonder if He is preparing to call her home. I'm waiting for the doctor to come in. My Mom left me for some time alone with my grandma. He wants to send her home. Honestly I am pretty angry about it. Let me just tell you my friend that is NOT HAPPENING, but my mom said nothing I say as a 16 year old girl will matter. I realize I can't do anything alone. I prayed to God that the doctor would have a change in heart, but for now I plan in everyway to stick up for my grandma, she isn't well enough to go home, so for now I sit next to her and try to process this.

10 minutes later...
The doctor is here! No other adults here oh boy... He walked into the room and smiled and said I have decided to admit her to the hospital. I loved the look on his face as I asked if the insurance would cover it because I think he thought I was to young to comprehend it. He said "Yes." which was a complete blessing because that is what was holding us back from keeping her there, and holding her back from wanting to be there. Prayer answered. Thanks God.

Night thoughts...
I am exhausted. We helped her get comfortable in her room, and visited with her some more as she tried to keep supper down. She is in some pain, but should feel a little better tomorrow. I realize that if my Aunt had not been with her, she would have slipped into the arms of God. I guess God is giving us a little more time to be blessed with her. I encourage you to call your grandparents tell them you love them. Give them a hug, and appreciate them for the people they are.

Focus on your giants- you stumble, focus on God- your giants tumble.

Make God the center.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010


A mixture of thoughts have been stacked on my mind. Here are some for you...

-I have been so incredibly blessed this summer. My prayer is that I could understand it.

  • Let me just tell you I have been blessed with the best 'job'. Now you may be sitting in your chair thinking "NO way. Mine is cooler." Sorry to burst your bubble buddy but.... :) I actually get paid for jumping on a trampoline, getting tackled and hugged, laughing, and spending time with some of thee greatest and most inspirational kids ever. Who would've ever thought that was a job? Truthfully I feel somewhat guilty about it, but I'm not letting these moments slip through my fingers like sand... I love you Coley, Allie, and Braidster. 
  • Today I passed my driver's test! Before my test I was nervous to the point I could of actually thrown up, but after I prayed for strength, comfort, and guidance I could feel God's presence all around me, and God helped me get past everything as it came. My first ride on my own was to an FCA camp meeting, and for real my first thoughts as I hopped in that car were "I AM SO LONELY!" Really the feeling of loneliness wore off fast, because I knew in every way God was sitting in the passenger seat ready to take that wheel at any moment. It's truth.  Thank you! Glory to you my God. I'm so blessed to know you. You rock. I can't wait for all our road trips together.  
  • In less then a week now I will be leaving for New Orleans. I am overly excited, and completely blessed with this opportunity. It'll be over a week and a half of intense deepness, and intimate time with God. My plans are to keep a journal daily. I know I'll have tons of thoughts to jot down. I'm hoping when I return I'll post them up here. I'm not sure how I'll feel about it once I realize the intensity of it, and actually trying to place words for it, but I'll just have to wait to see where God wants me to go.
  • Speaking of Coley previously...this just reminded me. Cole will be going for a test July 20th to see if the cancer has backed off or progressed. If all is well then his port comes out July 21st! I would just like to encourage you to pray for him, his family, and the doctors. He's come a long ways, and I realize every single day I get to spend time with him, and his family now, as all my other friends, and people, it is a blessing. Don't take it for granted.
Not much deepness here, or organization, or well you get the picture that my mind is like an exploded filing cabinet. :) Anyways take some time, realize your blessings, lay 'em out. Thank God. Do what you need to do.  

Stay cool. Go serve our KING.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Sixteen! Dating..?

I remember a few years back asking my mom how old I had to be before I could date. Her reply was "I don't know. Probably sixteen." To that I agreed and laid it mostly at rest. To be completely honest, and as embarrassing as it is to say, for a while I actually looked forward to turning sixteen for partly that reason. I was so quick, and ready to rush to grow up I forgot that it takes a ton of responsibility with it.

First, I would like to say to my mom if I say a boys name once or twice, or maybe even three times it does not mean I have a crush on him, or like him in any way more then a friend!

Dear brother, if I mention a guys name once or twice, or maybe even three times it DOES NOT mean you have to tease me about him for the REST of my life. :)

Well now I'm sixteen, and confident to say my view on dating since I asked that question to my mom has changed immensely. In simple, I don't want to date. I truly view dating as a game. Not saying that everyone uses it that way, but I feel a fair amount do. I often see many use it to find a shallow emotional connection, and a deeper physical connection, and with that the relationships only satisfies for a short amount of time, and leads the person astray from who he/she fully was.

To lay it out.

  • I believe dating should be a very sincere thing. 
  • I think it should in no way be treated like a marriage such as living at each others houses, sharing finances, ect. 
  • I don't think dating should happen until you are able to actually make a commitment to that person. For example, I am sixteen. I can't get married now anyway, or make the commitment to it, so instead I can build up my relationship with God, and friendships.
  • I do believe that God does have a special person in mind for each of us, unless otherwise called. 
  • I think premature dating causes you to focus to much on an earthly relationship and can take time away from seeking God especially in the teenage years. 
  • I also believe premature dating can affect the person you are suppose to be, and can hinder the plans both you and God had in mind for you life by compromising to much in order to make the relationship work. 
  • I strongly think that a dating relationship should come from a strong friendship where you are aware of who the other person is at heart. 
  • Lastly, I believe it will be a calling from God when the time is right, and when God has placed him/her in your life.

In no way do I wish to push these views on you. When I was younger I didn't think they would shift this much, but at that age then again I never really understood the meaning behind it.

Just some thoughts. Pray about it. Pray for your future spouse that God is guiding them, and they are building their relationship with God. Pray for them to stay pure and patient while you are on your journeys without each other.

Have a good day! :)

Friday, July 2, 2010

Dear Dad and Mom,

My Mom recently confronted me asking why none of my family has made it into this blog. Well here you are Mom. You are now in my blog.

Dear Dad and Mom,
      How are you? I probably should start with that because I don't ask you that enough. I'm sorry. You come to ask me that everyday, and my answer is always the same. "Good." Short and simple, yet you still take the time to care and ask. Thanks.
      I've come to learn over the last two years that you, my family, are the hardest to witness my faith too, and certainly are some of the first I should be trying too. Trust me I'm trying, but it takes small steps, and not the normal giant leap I try to take. I hope sometime in the future you notice a change in my heart if you haven't already.
     I'm slowly growing up and becoming more independent. In many ways I lack maturity. I know. I understand that a lot of decisions I still can't make on my own even though I try. I remember at the end of sixth grade I had thoughts of transferring to Discovery Middle School, and no matter what I did to try to convince you your solid answer was that I was staying at Zion. I was more then ready for a change in scenery, and worried no one would want to be my friend as a new girl in a class of 300 transferring over in ninth grade. I won't ever regret your decision to keep me at Zion. Yet again you were right. It's where I by all means belonged, because those were the years I was most rocky. I'm sorry I don't always listen to you, because I think I know what's better for me, but I know God blessed me with you guys so He could guide me through you while I am away from Him.
    This is barely the beginning of this letter, but it's a start. I'll have plenty more to add to it over time.
I love you guys. Welcome to my blog. :)

Thursday, July 1, 2010


These days of summer have been of easy living I must say.
I just got back from a run. Quite honestly I'm not so happy with it, but with this it got me to thinking...

I'd like to think of negative things as weeds, and the positive things as flowers. In my case of running today there are more weeds. If you haven't noticed before weeds will often take over a garden if it isn't well taken care of. Just a thought. How would you like your garden to look? How would you like your garden to portray God?

The same goes for our relationship with Christ. This time weeds being sin, and flowers being anything that makes our relationship with God grow. If we let to much sin or even to much unconfessed sin into our lives, and let temptation, and the devil grab a hold of us, then the beautiful flowers will become wilted, abandoned and overpowered, and soon the the flowers will become hidden. I think this is where black and white becomes gray, and where right and wrong doesn't really matter.

It's important to keep a steady focus on the goal, and it's important to weed out anything you can that puts a blocking wall between you and God. In many ways today I could have eliminated many things on the negitive outlook side. I could have taken a different path, took my inhaler, and decreased my distance, but sometimes just doing it the hard way is what is takes to learn. Just some thoughts. Take what you can. Apply what you will.

Stay cool.

Sunday, June 27, 2010


These thoughts actually crossed my mind during the late school year. I realize that it's kind of delayed to blog about them since the heaviness of them have been lifted, but they by no means have become less important to understand.

Temptation. It's a continuous pop quiz thrown at us at as what can seem to be too often. Knowing if you failed it or passed it was something I had and even sometimes still have a hard time understanding. Over the course of an intense Bible study on David, a deep conversation with a friend, and talking to God many things had opened up to me in a perspective that made sense. To be tempted is not a sin. Although how you handle that temptation can result in sin. This makes me jump to the thought of the story of "The Temptation of Jesus".

 "Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit in the desert, where for forty days he was tempted by the devil. He ate nothing during those days, and at the end of them he was hungry. The devil said to him, "If you are the Son of God, tell this stone to become bread." Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone." The devil led him up to a high place and showed him in an instant all the kingdoms of the world. And he said to him, "I will give you all their authority and splendor, for it has been given to me, and I can give it to anyone I want to. So if you worship me, it will all be yours." Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Worship the Lord your God and serve him only.'"The devil led him to Jerusalem and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. "If you are the Son of God," he said, "throw yourself down from here. For it is written: "'He will command his angels concerning you to guard you carefully; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.'" Jesus answered, "It says: 'Do not put the Lord your God to the test.'" When the devil had finished all this tempting, he left him until an opportune time." Luke 4:1-13. 

God to was tempted no less then we are, and in the same ways that we are today. The difference is that He didn't give into them therefore they didn't result in sin.

For a long time I didn't understand that. This topic came up as someone brought up the topic of desires to me. She claimed that if God clothed her with those emotional  and physical desires why would they be a sin? This is when God helped me to understand. Yes, we've been given desires, but desires themselves are not sins. As stated before how you handle that desire will determine if it is a sin. I will give you two extreme scenarios to give you some further thought for your mind to process and understand if you already don't. 

Scenario 1: Pornography is displayed on your computer, or pops up in your mind. You do everything you can to escape your mind processing it by thinking of other things to distract it. In this case you made it bounce, you resisted the temptation, and you shoved it aside. This isn't a sin. It was simply a temptation thrown at you, but in every way you rejected it. 

Scenario 2: Pornography is displayed on your computer, or pops up in your mind.  You continue to look at it and feed the thoughts out of curiosity, while the visual image becomes stronger in your mind. In no way did you resist the temptation but built it up for the next time when the temptation comes along. This is a sin. You accepted the unjustifiable temptation. 

Just a few more thoughts from the Bible to feed on...

"No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." 1 Corinthians 10:3

"For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted." Hebrews 2:18

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." James 1:2-5

"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.And remember, when someone wants to do wrong it is never God who is tempting him, for God never wants to do wrong and never tempts anyone else to do it. Temptation is the pull of man's own evil thoughts and wishes." James 1:13-14

Have a good night! 

Childhood cancer run, bike, walk...

Hey readers! 
If you live in Alexandria I would just like to give you heads up! There is a run on July 17th it starts at West Union and goes down the trail to Osakis and back.  It is 15 miles!  You are not required to do all of it! You can do a small portion or you can create a relay team for it. Also biking it is an option!  For more details go to To sign up, download a sign up sheet, print it off, fill it out, and send it in. 

Quite honestly I apologize because I don't know to many details about it to share with you. I'm bummed I won't be able to participate in it because I'll be in New Orleans at that time! I strongly encourage you to check it out though. Cole Haabala is being sponsored this year, and from my understanding the money pledged and raised goes to finding a cure for childhood cancer! 

Thanks guys! :)

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Small firm steps.

I can feel a blog post in the back of my mind, but it's not exactly coming..

Summer has been treating me very fair. :)

Yesterday I spent the afternoon with the Haabala's. :) The plan was for me to watch the kids while Carly trained for her ten mile run coming up in July! When she mentioned it, she hadn't remembered that Cole had to have his IV antibiotics hooked up from three to four. Despite that she invited me over to come help with a VBS lesson. With that I learned one of my own...

I walked into the house only to see bright smiles on the three kids' faces accompanied by a smile on Carly's. The kids scattered back to their previous activities while I jokingly chased after Cole threatening to tickle him if he didn't report to his mom for his IV's. Of course on my part it was some what of a mistake. It become more of a game for him and I then it was affective to settle him down, but as soon as Carly said "The sooner we get this done the sooner you guys can go to Missy's house to jump on the trampoline.", he knew it meant business. I stood next to him as they unclamped, drew blood, twisted a tube onto his port, and begin injecting the antibiotics. As a stood there a million questions filled my mind. Before I knew it. I became the special little pole that people at hospitals roll next to them as the IV's drips...

The cord was was about three feet long from the injecting machine to his port on his chest, which meant the machine in my hand couldn't travel to far away... I could see the huge grin on his face as he knew that everywhere he went I had to be close by to follow. He walked in circles, he walked in zig-zags, he walked in patterns unexplainable. He'd often pick up the pace, slow down, and at some points even began to run...

In every way this made me think of God. Us being the little children, and God carrying with Him everything we need, every breath we breath. It made me think of how we can choose to walk ahead, or fall behind, but either way God is there. It made me realize the unsteady pattern of some of the paths we choose to take can be harmful, and very unexpected. It makes me think. Why run when we can take small firm steps leaning onto our most stable crutch? It hit me in ways unexplainable.

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize." 1 Corinthians 9:24-27

Take some time to think about how you're running the race.

Monday, June 21, 2010

That tall ol' pedistal..

I have a mind. It tends to wonder, to create, to dream, to imagine, to wish. My mind can do more then ever imagined. It can hold more information then ever obtainable, but it will never understand the full glory of my Savior, nor the love, the sacrifice, the greatness, or the thought of eternity. To that it has become stumped, and throughout my journey to understand that I will only ever get a slight taste of what it really is.

How about people? Can we understand them? I sure can't, but to an extent I've learned that we only need to understand certain things to small extents. People fail. They lie, they murder, they hate, they gossip, they idolize, they die.

We fall short in ever measure to God. Yet His love runs from east to west, from top to bottom, from nail to nail.

What makes me stumble is how could I possibly keep God next to me in the crowd, while I place a friend upon the pedestal and look to them for their incredible actions. How? I see this man. I see him fail. I see him stumble as I do, but yet I find him worthy to rest upon a pedestal?

God. A man who took His life for me, for you. A man who did the impossible. Yet I sometimes see an earthly man more better deserving of praise? Impossible.

Yet it's a sin I commit. I understand how great people can be, but my God He rocks. I can't even wrap my mind around everything He's done for me, yet I search or set a higher resting point for Him to reach.

Dear God,
Each and everyday I fail. I look to earthly material possessions, and friends to satisfy me. I know only You truly can satisfy me though. Help me to look towards You in times of need, in times of happiness, and in times of thanksgiving. Help me to give YOU the credit, and the glory that YOU deserve. Help me to find the correct earthly company for my stay on this earth. Thanks for standing by me at every moment. Thank You for coming after me even when I stray away. Thank you for forgiving me. Help me to turn and run from sin, temptation, and the devil. Help me to walk a straight path towards with You, and see the world as You would be please for me too.
In Jesus Name I Pray,

Thursday, June 17, 2010


I'm NOT going to sleep until I squeeze a very unorganized post out.

Wow! This weeks been great! I've spent a good reasonable amount of it at the Haabala's babysitting! :) Cole had a fever so Jon and Carly took him down to the hospital. They spent Monday morning-Wednesday night there, so I've been helping take care of the kids during the days while their Grandma goes to work. His chemotherapy treatment is ending soon! Early July I believe. Please pray that it's enough to get rid of the cancer! Around the time his chemotherapy treatment will be ending I'll be getting my license, so Coley and I plan on going on a celebration "date" to DQ. I can't wait! :)

Lately I've been thinking a lot about the order of my priorities. They've definitely shifted. School has moved out, friends moved up, and God? Where does He lay? I'd like to say He's at the sky rocket top, although if I said that I'd be lying. I CAN say that I full heartily wish God was on the sky rocket top.

I'm realizing with more free time it's hard to actually push myself to do daily scheduled things on my own. I like to just play things by ear a lot of the time. I've been doing at least a daily devotional each day, and some good book reading. Surprisingly I've found it easiest to sit down to do a devotional not at a scheduled time, but when I sit down thinking I don't have anything to do! I encourage you to find something that makes sure and holds you accountable for getting some personal time with God too!

I'm excited for what this summer holds! It's definitely going to be the deepest one I've had ever, which I will certainly enjoy because...I AM deep. God's offered several opportunities this summer to keep me accountable to keeping my life on a decent path. I can't wait for all He has in store!

New Orleans is coming up sooner then I can imagine. Two weeks of focusing on my Lord. I'm excited God shed the knowledge on me that I can only get out of this trip as much as I put into it. I can't wait to get that extra little spark of God's presence. It'll be overly refreshing.

Following soon after that FCA leadership camp will come! I'm certainly hoping to get so much out of that too! I want to take everything that I learned at New Orleans and previous experiences and learn to apply it all in a daily manner to spread the hope of God to others!

Following that Zion will be having VBS, and I'm hoping to volunteer the week there! I can't wait to see what God has in store for these kids this year!

Don't forget in the busy reality of life that God should be our center. Take a break. Breath. Read some Bible. Talk to Him. Look at the beautiful creation He has laid ALL around us.

My goal is to pick up the writing a little more often. I'll be getting a heart full of things to talk about once the summer picks up a little more.

Go live life loud.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Faith Like a Child.

Dedicated to my nephew and niece.

Little kids. I'll never understand the special place that they hold in my heart. I am beyond privileged to be an Aunt at the age of 15. It's the best of both worlds with being the youngest in my family. It's like having the little brother and sister I never had, without the complete responsibility of it. I especially think it's cool because my nephew is 11 years younger then me, and that's how much older my sister is then me, so I can finally see her perspective of growing up with a little sister around. It's pretty sweet.

As much as I don't always appreciate being beaten every time playing Mario cart with my nephew, giving half of my extremely good food portion to them when I eat a snack, and how cluttered my room gets when they spend the night, did I mention one time my nephew woke me up at 2:00a.m. to make me search my room for some fox, because he claimed he saw some but couldn't remember if it was a dream? Well he did. I wouldn't trade it for the world. It's worth it, because with it comes gallons and gallons of love, and a numerous amount of hugs. (I am assuming that's not to accurate of a term for measuring love, but it seemed to get my point across.)

At times they can be such a testament to me, in ways that are not imaginable. It's incredible to see that childlike faith lies within them when I ask them who Jesus is. I see that the love and acceptance they have for everyone should be my model or how I also should also show love an acceptance. To little kids it's simple. Past doesn't matter, wrongs aren't being counted, worries are thrown away, and the word 'doubt' doesn't have meaning.

Each year the daycare (Cole Haabala's) I volunteered at goes swimming at Holiday Inn or the like. We eat pizza, play soccer, and swim it up. I remember one year as Cole was finally getting use to the pool, he'd jump off the edge and into my arms assuming I would catch him. There was no doubt in his mind that I would, even if I was looking the other way, he didn't doubt I'd reach my arms out at catch him. In every way our faith needs to grow to be like that. To know that in every circumstance God will reach out his arms to catch us.

My nephew's lately been attached to these little cards that give reasons why you should accept Jesus Christ as your Savior. He's got no clue what they actually say on them but he's got the right idea. He walks around with them sticking out of his pocket where ever he goes. Whenever he runs into somebody new at the grocery store or his parents stop and talk to them he pulls out a card smiles big and says "Do you know Jesus? You can keep this card!" It's something as simple as that-that can make a world's of a difference. A child. A childlike faith.

Be bold. Stand out. Set apart.

Dear Jacob and Tahira,
I love you guys like crazy. You guys mean the world to me. I couldn't of asked for a cooler nephew or niece. You guys rock. :)

Dear Cole,
No doubt do you also mean the world to me. I'd give you one of my kidney's any day. For real. :) I'm so blessed for you to have been part of my life, to feed you bottles, rocked you to sleep, read you stories, and spent hours on end swimming, running around, and playing soccer with you. I can't wait to continue to watch you grow up. Just please don't grow up to fast. :) Keep fighting that cancer, bud!

Dear Allie and Brady,
You guys make me smile to no end. Allie your smile lights up the world, and your quotes never ever fail to make anyone laugh. Brady, your determination never fails to help you get back up! :) Your the lights onto the darkness.

Monday, May 31, 2010


I'm running dry of deep thoughts. If you know me well then you probably just gasped so deep you coughed. I have summer fever... I can't think straight anymore. Once schools out I'm jumping into some inspirational books, and trust me the fountain will once again be overflowing.

As I sit down eating some food, and a little later some more food, and very soon after that even some more food. I realize how incredibly blessed I am. I have a roof over my head, a bed beneath my body, food in my fridge, friends in my heart, books on my shelf, clothes in my closet, a beaming sun in the sky, and trust me I could go on. PLEASE don't get me wrong though these things aren't what only make me blessed though. I could have NONE of these above things and still be abundantly blessed. Even without ALL these things without food, drink, house, a bed, ANY materialistic thing, you would have EVERYTHING, because even without those things you have GOD.

God your Friend.
God your Provider.
God your Counselor.
God your Healer.
God your Strength.
God your Deliverer.
God your Father.
God your Restorer.
God your Love.
God your Helper.
God your Shield.
God your Comfort.
God your Hope.
God your EVERYTHING. (Yes, caps was very necessary.)

As I worked on some deep thoughts to support these prevoius thoughts I figured why need I when I have EVERYTHING laying in the words below sitting in my lap, the Bible! Who better to get some support from then, the Giver of Life, Himself?

-Deuteronomy 8:11-18
(11) “But that is the time to be careful! Beware that in your plenty you do not forget the Lord your God and disobey his commands, regulations, and decrees that I am giving you today. (12) For when you have become full and prosperous and have built fine homes to live in, (13) and when your flocks and herds have become very large and your silver and gold have multiplied along with everything else, be careful! (14) Do not become proud at that time and forget the Lord your God, who rescued you from slavery in the land of Egypt. (15) Do not forget that he led you through the great and terrifying wilderness with its poisonous snakes and scorpions, where it was so hot and dry. He gave you water from the rock! (16) He fed you with manna in the wilderness, a food unknown to your ancestors. He did this to humble you and test you for your own good. (17) He did all this so you would never say to yourself, ‘I have achieved this wealth with my own strength and energy.’ (18) Remember the Lord your God. He is the one who gives you power to be successful, in order to fulfill the covenant he confirmed to your ancestors with an oath.

-1 Chronicles 29:10-17
(10) Then David praised the Lord in the presence of the whole assembly:
“O Lord, the God of our ancestor Israel,[a] may you be praised forever and ever! (11) Yours, O Lord, is the greatness, the power, the glory, the victory, and the majesty. Everything in the heavens and on earth is yours, O Lord, and this is your kingdom. We adore you as the one who is over all things. (12) Wealth and honor come from you alone, for you rule over everything. Power and might are in your hand, and at your discretion people are made great and given strength.(13) “O our God, we thank you and praise your glorious name! (14) But who am I, and who are my people, that we could give anything to you? Everything we have has come from you, and we give you only what you first gave us! (15) We are here for only a moment, visitors and strangers in the land as our ancestors were before us. Our days on earth are like a passing shadow, gone so soon without a trace.(16) “O Lord our God, even this material we have gathered to build a Temple to honor your holy name comes from you! It all belongs to you! (17) I know, my God, that you examine our hearts and rejoice when you find integrity there.

God is truly all we will ever need. Don't forget to acknowledge Him, and thank Him for being the wonderful provider of EVERYTHING you have, and all your abilities.

Sunday, May 23, 2010


A follow up from the previous post. This post will request a mission. A part of your mission as a disciple of God.

Mission: This week your challenge for each day is to pray for three people. ANY three people of your choice. You may see them driving in a car, walking down the hallway, talking on the phone at work, or standing in front of your very eyes teaching you at school. Their emotions may range from a pocket full of sunshine, to Mr. Johnny raincloud. Your mission is to pray for them. Pray for God's blessings on them, and that their walk with God would grow! Any three people, anything on your heart, send your requests to our Almighty God! :)

Let's go rock those gates of heaven!

Friday, May 21, 2010


A new approach to blogging for today, a little more light-hearted. :)

Prayer - (noun)

1.To talk with God.
2.A devout petition to God or an object of worship.
3.A spiritual communion with God or an object of worship, as in supplication, thanksgiving, adoration, or confession.

I will never be to grasp what a privilege it is to be able to speak at any moment, any hour, any minute to our Maker, our Savior, our Father.

Prayer offers a coversation with God, a way to communicate any feeling at any time, and be guarenteed that He will hear it. Although God knows every single thought on your mind He wants to hear what's important to you, and he wants you to come running to Him with anything, and everything. Prayer shows God you want to have an intimate relationship with Him. Lately I've been getting in depth with prayer in a book called 'The Power Of Prayer'. It offers me a chapter of knowledge and why that specific kind of prayer is important, then it offers a written out prayer to pray, and then asks me to write out three individual prayers that apply to my life. I look forward to coming home and reading it everyday out in the sun, because although I am often to tired to do a lot of thinking, it offers such great spiritual rest, and a filling satisfaction for my soul after a long day. It's been my 15 minutes a day of JUST God and I. No cellular device, no music, no other people, no distractions.

I'm shy when it comes to praying in front of other people. I'm so use to it being such a deep personal time, your prayer doesn't have to consist of fancy words, be organized by any means, or be a certain length. It just has to be an honest out pour of thoughts, or words from your heart. God takes it all. Your burdens, your pain, anything you confess. You can thank Him for the beautiful day, you can tell him all your mushy love stories, you can tell him why you are struggling with your walk with Him. Most importantly you can "Cast all your cares on Him for He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

Talked to God lately? He never gets tired of listening.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

A New Grasp On His Love...

God. What a guy! Alpha. Omega. Redeemer. Friend. His love stretches from sea to sea, from sunrise to sunset, to I don't even know! As I've been thinking over this week, I was trying to come up with a recap of blessings. I could talk about given strength, joy, family, friends, hope, but the one that sticks out to me is unconditional love. I expected in a week of sadness a lot of dark would lay, but as always the unexpected came to be. The light I'd seen had been much brighter then thought.

Warning: This post will be kind of long. A update. Some stories. Thoughts.

As the week went by I'd say the beginning was the easiest. I can't really say I understood, whether it was denial or shock, that she left this earth until Wednesday morning, then it started sinking in big time. I couldn't decide whether attending the wake (viewing) or the funeral would be a wise idea or not. I didn't want my last memories of her at such a young age to be of her lying in a casket. None the less, I decided to go. No regrets. It was for sure a part of the healing process to be with family feeling the same things.

As I walked into the wake more realization was forced to set in. As I stood in the middle of the funeral home I looked in all directions. I counted four Kleenex boxes. JUST from one position of standing. FOUR KLEENEX BOXES. Talk about a lot of two-ply tissues! Not only that it looked to be there was already a box or two worth laying in the garbage can I passed by previous to seeing Kortni. As I walked up to the entrance of the gathering room I understood the reason for the Kleenex's...

Approaching her I looked at the cards made for her by her classmates, donated flowers and trees, and at last there her body laid. Lifeless. I stood there emotionless for a while trying to remember as much as I possibly could of her facial features, her long blonde hair, and her closed (bright blue) eyes. Nextly, it was time to walk over to my cousins (her parents) share our sorrows and hope with them. I prayed for some calming words to say and moved along with my family. I was confident I had left the sadness behind for a little bit, I didn't want to see them until I did so I could share some hope with them. By the time I was two people away, I turned into a fountain! I walked up to him with NO words to say, all I could do was look up at him, and say sorry. He leaned down, gave me a hug, while reminding me over and over that it'll be ok, that she's happy, and that it was ok to cry. I stepped back returned his smile, and walked ahead to Nicole, I gave her a hug, and said sorry. She smiled, and on I moved to the prayer service. Over and over in my head all I could think was "You dummy you're suppose to be here to help them feel better, and share hope!" Ugh...

After a while of thinking God shed some light. Maybe God was using Jim (my cousin, Kortni's father) to share in words what God wouldn't speak directly in voice to me. God's ALWAYS there to pat us on the back, give us a big hug, and tell us it'll be ok. He's always there too wipe away our tears, and flash us a hopeful smile just like Jim had to me even though he was hurting probably much worse then I was.

Each time we hurt our neighbor (which is equivalent to everyone) we hurt God. We're his children. Each time we abandon, gossip about, insult, abuse our friends, and anyone, we are doing that to our Creator. He hurts for us, he hurts with us, yet he still accepts us into his loving arms, smiles at us, and tells us it'll all be ok!

Go serve our LOVING God and His people!

Sunday, May 2, 2010

All in a moment, all in a minute, all in a short amount of time.

Only last October had I walked along side her, after a small get together for my Grandma's birthday...we all gathered at her house only a very short distance from my little six year old cousin Kortni's house. As she sat at a table coloring next to me, her parents used the typical threat most parents would use if their child wouldn't budge an inch. "We'll leave you here if you don't come over here and get your shoes on now." "Mom, I just want to finish this picture" she said. After a few more minutes of talk I promised I would walk her home when she was done. Her parents agreed, and it was all settled. Shortly after her parents left she was done with her picture, and asked me to walk her home. Before we even walked fifteen feet out the door, I looked down at her and saw her reach up her hand to hold mine. I put my hand out and together we walked. I asked her about school, her favorite color, and how dance was going, before I knew it our conversation had lead us to the familiar steps of her front door. She rang the door bell with her hand still in mine, and waited for her parents to arrive at the door. As she saw her Mom open the door, she looked up at me, smiled big, thanked me for walking her home, released my hand and walked in the door with her brilliantly colored picture. Her mom smiled at me and thanked me, and I walked back to my Grandma's house. Never would I think that would be the last time we'd walk along this earth together...

Now I sit here in disbelief, with a blank look, and a numb feeling inside...
"Kortni drowned." my Mom said..
"She died?" I asked.
"Yes." She replied.

She's gone. All in a moment, all in a minute, all in a short amount of time. She's with God now. He's called her home. She's coloring pictures in God's lap as he looks over her shoulder in complete awe and satisfaction of her beautiful creation. She's at rest. She's at ease. She's in God's arms.

Rest in peace Kortni Botzet.

Treat each day like it's your last. Share the gospel. Share your hope. Love until you can't anymore. Never take advantage of a friendship, or relationship. Each is precious, unique, and given to you as a blessing for a reason.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

God's Word...

I've been trying to get more into the Bible for the last couple months, and once I started looking deeper into it I couldn't help but thirst to read more and more. It's become much more enjoyable to get into it as I realized how much of it really applies, and relates. As much as times are different now then back in Jesus' day doesn't make any of it less true. It's always going to hold to it's standards, and that's what I've found that makes it so incredible to me...

Take a minute to actually think about each of these. If you look deeply into them they are quite humbling.
"So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall." 1 Corinthians 10:12

Some verses in the book of The Undying Truth:
Thoughts of Job:
"Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" Job 2:10
"Can a mortal be more righteous than God? Can a man be more pure than his Maker?" Job 4:17
"He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted!" Job 5:9
"What is man that you can make so much of him, that you give him so much attention, that you examine him every morning and test him every moment?" Job 7:17-18
"To God belong wisdom and power; counsel and understanding are his. What he tears down cannot be rebuilt; the man he imprisons cannot be released. If he hold back the waters, there is drought; if he lets them loose they devastate the land. To him belong strength and victory; both deceived and deceiver are his. He leads counselors away stripped and makes fools of judges. He takes off the shackles put on by kings and ties a loincloth around their waist. He leads priest away stripped and overthrows men long established. He silences the lips of trusted advisers and takes away the discernment of elders. He pours contempt on nobles and disarms the mighty. He reveals the deep things of darkness and brings deep shadows into the lights. He makes nations great, and destroys them; he enlarges nations, and disperses them. He deprives the leaders of the earth of their reason; he sends them wandering through a trackless waste. They grope in darkness with no light; he makes them stagger like drunkards." Job 12:13-25
"Who can bring what is pure from the impure? No one!" Job 14:4

Don't act like a Christian. Be one!
Go and serve your King! :)