Today my Grandma could've slipped into the arms of God.
1 response team
1 house full of family, police, and response team members
1 unresponsive Grandma
It's scary to see someone you love in such a lifeless state, and as soon as they could get her to respond she looked at me and smiled. Since then each time she has smiled at me I have been scared that it's going to be the last, but I gotta take each moment at a time. On another note the response team was great. I needed someone to return a smile here and there to reassure me it was all ok. Nobody else was about ready to offer me that. They were friendly, talkative, and even cracked some lame jokes. Talk about my kind of people in a situation like this.
I hate this room. I hate many things about it. I especailly hate the thought that on the other side of the room blocked off by a curtain was the room that my cousin Kortni Botzet was pronounced dead in. In a way it feels like defeat, but I can see God sitting at the end of the bed. I wonder what He's thinking. I wonder if He is preparing to call her home. I'm waiting for the doctor to come in. My Mom left me for some time alone with my grandma. He wants to send her home. Honestly I am pretty angry about it. Let me just tell you my friend that is NOT HAPPENING, but my mom said nothing I say as a 16 year old girl will matter. I realize I can't do anything alone. I prayed to God that the doctor would have a change in heart, but for now I plan in everyway to stick up for my grandma, she isn't well enough to go home, so for now I sit next to her and try to process this.
10 minutes later...
The doctor is here! No other adults here oh boy... He walked into the room and smiled and said I have decided to admit her to the hospital. I loved the look on his face as I asked if the insurance would cover it because I think he thought I was to young to comprehend it. He said "Yes." which was a complete blessing because that is what was holding us back from keeping her there, and holding her back from wanting to be there. Prayer answered. Thanks God.
I am exhausted. We helped her get comfortable in her room, and visited with her some more as she tried to keep supper down. She is in some pain, but should feel a little better tomorrow. I realize that if my Aunt had not been with her, she would have slipped into the arms of God. I guess God is giving us a little more time to be blessed with her. I encourage you to call your grandparents tell them you love them. Give them a hug, and appreciate them for the people they are.
Focus on your giants- you stumble, focus on God- your giants tumble.
Make God the center.