Flooded. Empty. Focused? (SMA)

Lately my mind has felt flooded, overwhelmed, and consumed. I'm guessing the lack of sleep I have been getting isn't helping that in any way either. For the last two weeks a minimum of eight hours a day has been spent on watching football practice, taping feet, making ice bathes, finding supplies, helping injured players, and keeping a pretty constant eye of knowing what's going on, but after seeing how much work the football players put into a two-a-day practice I feel I have no right to complain. A regular day consists of two four hour shifts that follow with eating, attempting to get something done, then head off to bed, only to wake up and do it again. Honestly this does make me feel I have purpose, but it makes me feel even better to know that God probably has a greater purpose for me.

With so much time spent at practices and in the training room the time I spend at home feels like nothing. Recently the question that has popped into my mind is 'Am I still focused on God?' Mainly this question popped up because one of the football players who pretty much always tries to give me a hard time walked up to me and said "Want to hear a joke?" I said "Nope." He then continued to say "Girl sports, and your FCA leadership skills." To that I replied "Yeah...thanks!" In a way it kind of felt like a slap on the face. I mostly know this kid is just teasing although a lot of the time it's hard to tell. It kind of made me take a step back and think why am I even here?

We've had quite a few encounters in the last two weeks where people have walked up to us and said with a cheesy smirk on their face "Are you standing here to watch the football guys?" We normally just try to laugh it off, and make some joke about how if we weren't trainers we wouldn't be standing there amidst 80 some guys, and 6 male coaches. Certainly signing up for it if I would of known that we weren't spending all our time in the training room, and that we'd be in the middle of the field watching practice go on, and that we planned to be  partnered so tightly with football I probably wouldn't have volunteered. Some of me wonders though if this is the complete working of God in my life. My purpose from this is to be more then a sports medical assistant trainer. My purpose is probably far wider then I will understand, but I do know my purpose is to be a light for God to every single one of those guys on that field. I may not have to run around quoting Bible verses left, and right, but my actions should be able to speak loud enough to make people wonder what it's all about.

Maybe sometimes harsh words have to be spoken to awaken you from a tiring sleep. Maybe what I thought had purpose means nothing now, and the what seemed over is only starting to begin.

Those previous thoughts should of almost popped up in my mind automatic though I feel. I can't stress enough that being a Christian isn't just a Sunday, Wednesday, youth group sorta deal. It's far more, and far better. It should take place at school, work, on the rainbow rider, on the field, at the zoo, anywhere, everywhere.

Hello football season. Hello sports medical assistant training. Hello feet. Hello road trips with smelly boys, and extreme outnumbered boy-girl ratio bus rides. None of it matters now. What matters is the foot I as a Christian decide to put forth, and the leap I am willing to take to bring my faith to the next step. Bring it. With the help of God. I can take it. We can take it.

Be set apart.

Consideration?

Lately I've been thinking about relationships. If you know me well enough by now you'd probably already know I'm always seeming to try to learn something new about them! Although I'm sure you'd be quick to agree with me that they are very important. :)  I've noticed in my own life, and in others that sometimes relationships can be the make or break of us. I'd have to say especially the guy-girl ones can get a person off track, or get your mind spinning in every direction. If a relationship is bad, our attitude, or emotional state can go spiraling downward in an instant. Maybe that relates more-so to girls, I can't say I've ever experienced it from a guy's point of view. Lately and over time I've been realizing that our emotional state seems to spiral downward faster the more our life is centered around that relationship. I've noticed the more attached to a person I am the more likely that person can affect me with both negative, and positive influence. I've been given this illustration before, but it was put a little differently then I am about to put it. Hopefully it hasn't been to overused. Picture a bike tire. There is the hub, which is the center, and then the spokes. On the hub put the word relationships there, and in between each spoke put some other priority in there. Well if something in your relationships go wrong which is the foundation and the center of the tire holding it together, then each single priority in between the spokes are messed with. Therefore the tire becomes unbalanced. This doesn't only relate to relationships, you can try this with a lot of priorities. The point is if you make everything revolve around the one rocky foundation it can't stand solid. I found a little card laying on the floor of my room about a month ago it read "Put God in the center-and everything will come together." Meaning if you make God the hub, and all your priorities lie around you have a solid center foundation.

Consider it. :)

Bible.

I've been going through kind of a dull time lately. If you looked over the things that I've done this last week and a half you'd probably ask why. I've been pretty lucky to be surrounded by friends practically all the time whether at each others houses, biking, watching movies, camping, cooking, youth group, swimming, eating, shopping in St. Cloud. I've been running, visiting family, running around with my parents on their schedules and have been trying to help around the house in the free time. I've been writing lists of things to do to keep everything straight to make sure everything planned for the day gets done. I do enjoy having things to do, and it's good to accomplish things, but sometimes I feels like it's a game to see how many things I can cram into a day, and truthfully no matter how many things I do it still can leave me feeling unaccomplished and empty.  Let me be the first, last, second, or tenth to tell you that can't look to the world for satisfaction, and that you can't depend on it to be something that makes you complete. No matter how many clothes you buy, how many friends you have, how much money is in your savings, who has the coolest car-you will never know what true satisfaction is until you have a real relationship with God. Along my walk with God I've realized this so many times now. The world has a billion and one distractions. The devil is out to steer us in every which direction that causes blindness to notice them as true distractions. The best way to avoid these distractions and to be truly satisfied is to know the Truth, and to know God personally. Get into the Bible. Meditate on it daily. Spend some one on one time with God. He'll be sure to show you some glorious things no doubt. Talk to Him. Pray. In every relationship in order for it to work you have to have a two way street with equal communication. Don't just talk, but be ready to listen to what He has to say. Be real with Him. He's going to be real with you.

Sometimes people refer to the Bible as boring, but it certainly isn't! It's filled with spiced up stuff that is just as relevant today as it was when it was written! I've found it easiest for me to pick a spot in the Bible that I feel I need some insight on. I'm working through Proverbs now, and some of Psalms. Open it up, and dive in.

As for praying, I've heard a lot of my friends say they feel like there talking to the ceiling or that whatever they say is bouncing off the wall. Personally I've been writing my prayers out each night kind of in letter format to God in a journal, and at the end I read them out loud to Him. For now it's been helping my stay accountable to praying more often. Everyone is different, so different things will work for different people!

Speak. Listen. Meditate. Know Truth. Be satisfied.
Have a good one! (:

Love!

Love. Whoa. What a word! I mean not only is it a pretty cool sounding word, but it has the most spectacular and powerful meaning no doubt, and I can't even begin to think about how thrown around it is. I myself am completely guilty of it too! Three minutes ago I was talking about how much I LOVE cereal, but honestly I hope my love isn't that shallow, and I certainly hope the meaning of the word never becomes that shallow, because if it did boy are we doomed, because before you know it love will mean like, and if love means like then really God only likes us, and do you know what that means? It means that He may not even think we're worth it, which means we're all hopeless lost children of a God who only likes us...(which yes I know is all contradicting, because if God didn't love us we truly would be hopeless...)

Last night before I hopped in bed I did some one-on-one God time, and looked into the meaning of the word love. Of course the study that I did led me to the well known 1 Corinthians 13 chapter, and I decided this time I was going to take it to the next step. I laid out what love looks like, and what love doesn't look like:

What love IS                                                                 
-Patient                                                                            
-Kind                                                                               
-Rejoices in Truth                                                             
-Bears all things                                                                
-Believes all things                                                            
-Hopes all things                                                              
-Endures all things                                                            
                                                                                       
What love IS NOT/DOESN'T                                                                                    
-Envy
- Boast
- Conceited
- Act improperly
- Selfish
- Provoke
-Keeps records of wrong doing
- Find joy in unrighteousness
- End

It's strange how we can say the word love to so many people loosely like a habit-something that soon becomes unthought about. If you truly think about it this LOVE doesn't explain some mushy tingly feeling inside your stomach. It means something so much deeper! Something so incredible! Each time you tell someone you love them it's like a promise that you will treat them with respect, that you will forgive them always, and let go of the past! For real there is no way you can truly love unless you are acting Christ-like towards them!

Scenario 1:
Boy-Girl (Friend-Friend)
"Dude guess what!?"-girl
"Wha."-boy
"Jesus loves you!!"-girl
"And you as well!"-boy
"...and so do I! (in a brother in Christ sorta way)"-girl
"Cool...:) I gotta head to bed.."-boy

Scenario 1 explanation: As much as this conversation looks like rejection to you I actually really like this conversation. Let me explain. You see "For God so LOVED the world that He gave His one and only son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16, because of LOVE God did this. He didn't do it because we deserved it. If you look at this conversation in a way it looks like the love is coming from a one way sorta street which it may be, but isn't that's what God's love is! It's like a flood of water engulfing and rushing down the street, that wipes out everything in it's path. It's not something easy taken! God knew not everyone would love Him. The gift of what His son went through is unrepayable. For us when we love we shouldn't expect love back. We shouldn't love to be loved. We should love because that's what God did, and that's what we are commanded to do.

Scenario 2:
Friend-Friend (Girls)
"Jesus loves you and so do I!"-Friend 1
"Aww :) jesus loves you too and so do i too! :) hehehe" -Friend 2

Scenario 2 explanation: This is pretty laid out! We are called to love, to be loved. Wither we offered it first, last, or the relationship is one way. We are called to never ever stop pouring love out on each other as Christ does for us! This specific friend that this was said too was a great example for me to share. No doubt do I wish to respect this friend to treat her the way she should be treated! In James it tells us to not only be hearers of the Word but to be doers. This friend is outstanding. When she replies with the love that God has commanded her to have she doesn't just say it to apply satisfaction. She lives out the love the she says to have. She's kind, caring, and is very quick to put the other person first. Love is not only a word it's an action.


As I read the chapter this verse stuck out on the page at me it says:
"If I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith so that I can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing." - 1 Corinthians 13:2

Does that not just add an additional 20 pound weight onto the meaning of the word already?

Don't take it lightly. It shouldn't be, but be ready to hand it out freely, and be prepared to back it up with actions for that is what our Father in heaven did.

Laying some of it out... (FCA leadership camp 2010- Unleash the Power)

I'm home, and I AM camp-sick. I miss it already. The people, the worship, the laughter, the adventure, the push and desire to know God better, and the encouragement to always work hard at what you're doing. I've learned a lot in this past weekend, and honestly I don't even know where to begin.

I'm so thankful for the new things God has shown me through this opportunity! Such as:

• Truthfully no one is perfect, and you don't have to be to be a leader. (Thank you Jesus)
• I'm not the only one struggling to understand things.
• God is FULL, and filling.
• I NEED God because I am lost. (Which I knew before, but now have appropriate words for it.)
• It's more effective to explain why you yourself need God, then it is to explain to someone why they need God.
• I shared my testimony openly with a friend from my huddle and realized I actually know it better then I thought.
• I'm only on the beginning of my walk, and God's got my hand to lead me on.

That's just the beginning...


First off this weekend I met some incredibly cool, and legit people as some would say. :) No doubt it my mind is that true, but through this weekend and going into camp my focus was to focus wholly on God. I wanted above all else to put Him above the relationships that I made at camp, and focus on Him. Of course with growing closer to God I did slowly create some strong bonds with some new people! God certainly never stops pouring out His blessings.

To be completely honest with you and with this camp being co-ed I was worried there would be some distractions. Luckily what I soon learned after I arrived was that although it was co-ed the huddle groups were not, which I can fully assure you made it a billion times easier to open up, and stay focused! I noticed A LOT of girls, and I'd have to say a fair share amount of the guys focusing more so on a relationship with each other and finding excitement in them then finding, or even looking deeper into there relationship with God.  So with prayer, and some help from God I didn't have to worry about guys, and I didn't have to go out of my way to care that they were there. Which in no way do I mean that I don't care about them, because I am overly happy that those guys wanted to step up in their faith, it was just that they weren't going to get my focus. Praise to You God that You stood by my side, and kept my mind on the reason I was there for. You, and hopefully for fulfilling Your plan for me. 

In a way I'm kind of bummed out that the real feeling on God isn't swirling around in my heart, but it's not about feeling it. It's about the faith that after you asked Him to reside there, that He's there ever second, minute, hour, day, and that you can call on Him at anytime is what matters.

I certainly could go on hours about camp, blessings from God, the people I met, the INCREDIBLE food, the completely spectacular competitions, exercising games, and the velocity sport teams, but I think I'll leave it from here, and see what else gets worked in in the upcoming days, and what continues to lay heavy on my heart.

Dear God!
I thank you for sending me on this experience to learn more about you! I thank You for everything that You are, for Your love, and for Your forgiveness! I would like to pray for each camper that went, and for those interested and unable to make it I pray that you would put a burning passion in them to help continue getting to know You better! I pray that if the passion leaves they still have enough faith and fuel to chase after You, and light the world for You. I pray that leaving this place everything we learned and experienced will take complete affect in ways that witness to others, and get them to ask why we are set apart for the world! Please fill us up with Your love, patience, and Your understanding. Guide each of us in the plan that You had made specifically for us. Be with us always. Protect us. Hear us call upon You.
In Jesus name.
Amen.

"I want to sit at Your feet, drink from the cup in Your hand, lay back against You and breath, feel Your heartbeat, this love is so deep, it's more then I can stand, I melt in Your peace, it's overwhelming."