Man, oh, man. I've had such a great last three days. Passion Drama, Two FCA's, One Feild of Faith, One Easter Breakfast, and lots and lots of people who are going through and fighting for the same thing I want, to build a stronger relationship with the Almighty God. The events that filled the last few days completely lifted me up. The literal feeling of being on fire for God is drawing near to me once again, and that's something I always thirst for. I've felt immensely blessed lately. In a way though that's not true. I'm always blessed, and often times in ways I don't even recognize, and lately I've been acknowledging it so much more, amidst all the complaining I've been doing. I'm a pretty open person and willing to share my feelings, and I'm not so much afraid to be weak, so when I'm very questionable about something I tend to complain i.e. track and field. I'm learning that it's so important to use that negative energy and transfer it in the most positive way in whatever you are doing and bring glory and honor to God. This last weekend I complained a ton at a track meet about how questionable I was about being able to complete two 200 meter races. I dwelled on it because I questioned my ability. I pity the people that had to listen to me. When both races were over. I realized how great it was, and how much fun it was, and I couldn't believe I spent that much time complaining for such a simple event that lasted less then 35 seconds. What a waste of time. Instead of building up, I was just tearing everything down, and the complaining got me absolutely no where. It was Satan entering my mind trying to get me to underestimate everything I could, every ability that God had given me! What an insult to him, because even though I am the one who possess the ability it's given to me by God, and it's fed through God. It's a neverending supply of the ability from God. Nothing I do is of myself. I'm hopeless without him. It humbles me. How about you?
I've been looking high and low for my God given talent thinking it'd be something specific, something I wouldn't have to work at to be good at. That's not the case. I may not have talent that I see, but I think there's has to be one God can see, and pray that I use it, but I don't have to have a specail talent to be used by God anyway. All he needs is for me to let myself fall into hands, so he can use me in anyway it pleases him. I don't have to have a talent because God can use me in my weaknesses too. He's all powerful. I want to be leaning on him.